Omoide ni Dakarete Ima wa
(Held by Memories, In This Moment)
Sung by: ??
Lyrics from: http://www.jlyrics.org

I remember that warmth...
I thought those distant days when we loved each other
amidst the shimmering sunlight filtering through the trees
were everything.

Held by memories, in this moment, I turn into a coward
and choose a life in which I can't even feel pain.

I want to be certain of the meaning of love
My true face, reflected in the mirror...
I put on some lipstick
because I can't stand my pale, exhausted face.

Held by memories, in this moment, I can't go forward
I can't allow myself a life of wandering after something

Held by memories, in this moment, I turn into a coward
and choose a life in which I can't even feel pain.

Ah, If I throw everything away
I'll soon be able to meet a new me.

Held by memories, in this moment, I turn into a coward
and choose a life in which I can't even feel pain.

Held by memories, in this moment, I can't go forward
I can't allow myself a life of wandering after something


It's for the best. Everything is. But most everything requires an explanation so it won't be misunderstood.
I have enjoyed being a part of deviantart; the past six or seven months seemed to fly by so quickly, and now...they're gone.
But deviantart has brought me joy and pain, happiness and sorrow. Being the sort of person I am, I figured that I needed to explain myself.
After this moment, I will no longer visit or be a part of deviantart.
As the song says, I can't go forward and I have chosen the path of a coward, where I feel no pain.
Deviantart has brought me much pain. People, who figure that the internet won't hurt others. Things that you say over the internet, atleast to me, have the same impact as one who says it to me in real life.
But in addition, what I have learned is to be a puppet. I have learned to make art for others, and not for what should be most important in my life- ME.
I find myself hoping that my novicial art skills will impress someone, and finding that it impresses few, I find myself discouraged, I find myself trying harder, but for the wrong reasons.
I need to learn to make art for the sake of art, as the Romans say. I need to learn to appreciate my own art, to respect what is mine, before I can accept commentary from others, to appreciate THEIR appreciation for my art.
I will, however, still update my site and all my current art will remain on this site for those who care at http://www.idledesign.net/~nurikoluver and I will still be avaliable on AIM as NurikoLuver and MissEikoCarol and ConfusedGirl4Eva . If you wish to e-mail me, you can contact me at NurikoLuver@fushigiyuugi.net . Most certainly I will enjoy hearing from my old pals at deviantart. *^_^*
And so with this, my last few words to an art community that will forget me like many others, I say adieu.
Love,
NurikoLuver (Trudy Haley)
http://www.idledesign.net/~nurikoluver